Now that Apple products are mainstream Apple fanboys have been joined by Apple fangirls, and they’re having babies. How do we know they’re Apple fanatics? They’re naming their kids after Apple products.
US pregnancy and parenting website BabyCenter has revealed 2012’s most popular baby names. The name Apple for girls climbed a total of 585 spots in the most popular list this year, a rise of 15 percent.
Mac also saw a significant increase, jumping 12 per cent in popularity as a name for new-born boys.
Siri, Apple’s half-witted voice-activated personal assistant, is also proving more popular among new parents, moving five percent higher in the girls names list in 2012.
(If you thought these names were crazy, there was a baby girl called Hashtag, a girl called Facebook, and another named Like.)
Sadly Steve (Jobs or Wozniak) didn’t make it into the Top 100 boys names, and Jonathan (Ive) slipped to number 75. Tim (Cook) remains unpopular.
Dylan ranked number 13 on the list, and although this is more likely a reference to folk singer Bob Dylan – than to Apple’s multi-paradigm programming language that includes support for functional and object-oriented programming – we all know who Steve Jobs’ favourite singer was.
What other Apple-flavoured names could we call our kids. Apple’s taking over the world with its gadgets so we might as well comply and let them have our children, too.
Tiger (boy or girl)
The name Tiger fell out of popularity pretty quickly after the world’s most famous golfer was unmasked as a serial adulterer. It’s a great name, though, so it would be a terrible shame if it fell out of favour forever. Tiger was Apple’s fifth major version of Mac OS X, released in 2005.
Still put off by the golf connection? Try one of the other OS X big cats: Cheetah, Puma, Jaguar (must be pronounced “Jagwire”), Panther (coolest name ever?), Leopard or Lion.
Woz (boy or girl)
Why shorten people’s names to Gazza or Bazzer when Woz is available. Steve Wozniak is a big cuddly geek hero and co-founder of Apple. Someone must have a big hairy baby just waiting for this cute, ready-shortened name.
Being a real boy’s name – albeit a rather dull one – this one’s a safe bet but will get your young child into no end of trouble with his teachers.
While many will flinch at the memory of the Norwegian band who assailed the world’s ears with its insistent 1997 ‘Barbie Girl’ hit single, the name Aqua is really rather lovely. It means water in Latin. Water covers about three quarters of the world’s surface and makes up the same percentage of your heart, and well over half of your body. Men, apparently, are more watery than women, but it sounds better as a girl’s name, we think.
Pompous and pot-bellied he may have been in Snow White but Doc’s was the only really acceptable name of any of the seven dwarves. Apple fanparents can rejoice in the knowledge that little Dock is actually named after the ever-handy user-interface app-icon holder at the bottom of all our Mac screens.
Carbon was Apple’s title for a broad set of functions for managing files, memory, data, the user interface, and other Mac system services, but it’s also the chemical basis of diamonds – and should be more popular, being the fourth most abundant element in the universe.
You get extra points at school for having a name with a letter in it that scores highly in Scrabble. It’s also Apple’s preferred way of talking about various Mac graphics technologies. Parents should note that it’s also a rather beautiful mineral and therefore ripe for child naming.
Not an appropriate name for the very light-skinned but Cocoa (or at least Coco) has been popular in the past for little sweeties. Don’t let on it’s also Apple’s native object-oriented application programming interface.
Everyone loves a code-name and Apple has some corkers. Rhapsody, think free-flowing music and poetry, was the code-name for the under-construction next-generation Mac OS between Apple’s purchase of NeXT and the release of OS X.
Apple’s love-hate affair with colour – sometimes it’s the most multi-coloured company on earth, others it is black and white only – meant we got a rich range of iMac colours at the end of the last century. Ruby’s a lovely name, but you could also plump for sage, snow or indigo. Not Tangerine. No one but Jony Ive liked that one.
Rosetta (boy or girl)
Little Rosetta can always pretend her parents named her after a rose rather a dynamic binary translator for Mac OS X that allows PowerPC apps to run on Intel-based Macs.
The same trick is available for boys called Darwin. Imagine your folks named you after the pioneering biologist rather than an open-source POSIX-compliant computer operating system released by Apple in 2000.
Another name that Apple appropriated in its rush to name products after apples (Mac, Pippin) and people with apple connections. Newton, once Apple’s flagship mobile product, is a perfect name for dyslexic children as the Newton MessagePad was notorious for its poor handwriting recognition.
Turn the tables on Apple, which named its first Mac-like computer Lisa after Steve Jobs’ first daughter. Jobs initially denied this was the case, as at the time he didn’t acknowledge her as his own. Instead he claimed it stood for “Local Integrated Software Architecture”. Now that’s a name!