47 future iterations of Mac OS

Alex Kidman
10 December, 2007
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  • OS X 10.5 “Leopard”. You probably knowabout this one already.
  • OS X 10.6 “Snow Leopard” Exactly likeLeopard, but whiter.
  • OS X 10.7 “Caracal” Now with working TimeMachine.
  • OS X 10.8 “KodKod” Not as fishy as itsounds.
  • OS X 10.9 “Serval” Time Machine may workby now.
  • OS X 10.10 “Lynx” Now with working TimeMachine.
  • OS X 10.11 “Ocelot” Now with two workingTime Machines. Just to be sure.
  • OS X 10.12 “Margay” Now with a sonicscrewdriver.
  • OS X 10.13 “Pantanal” Drives Mac Geniusesinsane as they struggle to explain what a Pantanal is.
  • OS X 10.14 “Acinonyx” 10.0 re-releasedin special anniversary casing.
  • OS X 10.15 “Domestic House Cat” Good atcatching small bugs.
  • OS X 10.16 “ColoColo” Our smallest OSever. Suitable for installing on wristwatches.
  • OS X 10.17 “Cougar” Provisional title,must be cleared with the legal types. Who drink bourbon.
  • OS X 10.18 “Wolverine” We ran out ofcats, OK?
  • OS X 10.19 “Lassie” Finder renamed“Fetch The Stick, Boy!”, and Spotlight to “Timmy’s fallen down the well, yousay?”
  • OS X 10.20 “Lemur” Special, limitededition OS.
  • OS X 10.21 “Rabbit” Plagued by viruses,and Myxomatosis.
  • OS X 10.22 “Eagle” In-flight OS, for usewith the relaunched Concorde.
  • OS X 10.23 “American Bald Eagle” ThePatriot’s OS, y’all…
  • OS X 10.24 “Woodpecker” Supportsdodacahedron-core processors.
  • OS X 10.25 “Woody Woodpecker” Supportsduododecahedron-core processors. Comes with 47kg heat sink.
  • OS X 10.26 “Lesser spotted tree monkey”Adds support for AMD-based Macs.
  • OS X 10.27 “Lesser spotted treesquirrel” Drops support for PowerPC-based Macs.
  • OS X 10.28 “Lesser spotted treeelephant” Adds support for Etch-A-Sketch-based Macs.
  • OS X 10.29 “Crocodile” Stacks replacedwith “Big Shuffly Pile Of Paper”.
  • OS X 10.30 “Roman Mole”.
  • OS X 10.31 “Lynx” Now with aparadox-creating Time Machine.
  • OS X 10.32 “Hyena” Finder now smileseven more…
  • OS X 10.33 “Lamprey” Think they’llnotice if we re-release OS 9 again?
  • OS X 10.34 “Anchovy” Introduces newcompression standard. Also very salty.
  • OS X 10.35 “Vista” The version of OS Xthat nobody buys.
  • OS X 10.36 “Bandicoot” Supports“Pouches”— the replacement for Spaces.
  • OS X 10.37 “Wombat” With advanced sleepfeatures.
  • OS X 10.37.5 “Platypus” You’ve neverseen anything like it.
  • OS X 10.39 “Anteater” Eats the bugs wellbefore we patch them.
  • OS X 10.39.5 “Echidna” A point release.
  • OS X 10.40 “Agouti” Apple does notcomment on unreleased Agoutis.
  • OS X 10.41 “Blue Whale” Boot camp nowsupports Amiga DOS.
  • OS X 10.42 “Minke Whale” Boot camp nowsupports Apple DOS 3.1 (expected to be much in demand amongst Japanesescientific community).
  • OS X 10.43 “Green Porpoise” Boot campnow supports OS X.
  • OS X 10.44 “Tree Shrew” Machine TimeWorking A With Now.
  • OS X 10.45 “Clippy” It looks like you’retrying to release an OS…
  • OS X 10.46 “Armadillo” Our most secureOS ever.
  • OS X 10.47 “illo” Our least secure OSever.
  • OS X 10.48 “Lyrebird” Contains all thefeatures our competitors will pinch for the next ten years as “innovations”.
  • OS X 10.49 “Dugong” Our codebase may bebecoming a bit bloated…
  • OS XI Just don’t ask us when.

Alex strenuously denies that he wasdumpster-diving behind Apple’s Cupertino headquarters, whatever the securitycamera footage shows…

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